Twihardly: Post-Eclipse Reflections

The most satisfying romantic relationship I've had in years began last summer on the beach with a 17-year-old fictional vampire. I think it's time to move on.

At first, I found it easy to identify with Bella. For one thing, she's a brunette. Secondly, she's really clumsy and falls down a lot. That's pretty much all we know about her, but it doesn't really matter because perfect Edward is irresistibly attracted to the scent of her blood. By happy coincidence, he also seems to genuinely like her. Score! (Well, not quite yet.)

I still maintain that there's a lot of interesting fodder about souls, theology, and friendship to be gathered from the series as long as you understand that depth is what you bring to the table, not what you're being served. I'm still on Team Edward. Yet roughly one year after Twilight, it turns out that I'm not Bella after all. 

I'm Jacob. 

Bummer.

But since everything in my life is about grace at the moment, here's what I would say to Jacob at the end of Eclipse if I had the chance:

_________________________

Jake,

I'm really sorry you're hurt right now. Your broken bones will set at a freakishly quick pace, but it seems you've got a bum heart just like the rest of us. That's going to take a bit more time to heal.

You said you wanted to get all of the breaking done at once, so I've got some bad news for you: Team Edward wins. I'm sure that comes as no surprise, but here are a few tips to help you cope:

• Don't be mad at either Bella or Edward. The choices of their hearts (if you can call them choices) had nothing to do with you, and there's nothing you could have done to change the outcome.
• You may be tempted to run away, but please know that your escapism (running around in wolf form) is neither sustainable nor satisfying. There are too many people who rely on your friendship for you to completely withdraw.
• Remember that the larger series, like all epic tales, is ultimately about good and evil, not just romance. And good wins! I know you'd love to stay ignorant of the troubles around you and not actually have to deal with shape-shifting and what not, but you were called for a purpose. This is both your legacy and your destiny. Fight the good fight - and do it for Good, not for Bella.
• Stephenie Meyer is going to try to throw a creepy plot patch at you in Book IV - but don't let her do it! You deserve a better story than that -- your own story -- not just a contrived fix so that the16-year-olds in your fan club can sleep at night knowing you're not alone.

This is not your story. I'm sorry you keep getting thrown in haphazardly. (I can't believe that the author actually makes you narrate part of Breaking Dawn! Has she no mercy?) But please try to keep the larger narrative arch in perspective. I hope that, if you ever do get your own series, it won't take 1200 pages to get to the action.

Much love,

EDB