I still want X.

My evil twin (ET for short) is under the impression that God gives us what we want. We simply need to be bold with our prayers. As you may have noticed from my earlier post, I struggle with this concept . . . because experience has taught me that He doesn't.

"Oh, how thoughtful - more patience exercises! I know I asked for X, but patience is such a practical gift. I can't wait to try it out! Err, I mean, I'm quite content to sit here quietly and wait to use it until the appropriate moment presents itself . . ."

So what's going on in Matthew 7? Is God really promising - unconditionally - to grant my evil twin's random requests? Or, through the ask/seek/knock process, is God going to painstakingly show me that the things I naively think I want are just "stones" and give me some nutritious slices of whole wheat "bread" instead?

I don't know. Perhaps we're both wrong. (You knew I wasn't going to let ET be right, at any rate.)

I wish the following thoughts were mine, but the credit goes to Rob Bell, who more eloquently elaborates in his sermon "Ask, Seek, Knock." He explores the passage in question by applying the "ask" method to human relationships first:

How do we get other people to give us what we want? Sometimes, we try to manipulate their behavior by judging and condemning them. We shame them into action. Other times, we try to buy their behavior by bribing them with stuff. The more expensive the gift we lavish upon them, the more indebted they feel to us.

When we stop playing games with one another and simply ask for what we want, we honor the other person's free will. They can either say yes or no. When our request is honest, the choice is theirs. The outcome is uncertain, but the process is full of dignity and respect.

I play these games with God all the time. I taunt Him and I test Him ("If You really loved me, You wouldn't let me be so miserable."). I try to earn His favor ("Look, I'm fasting! Don't you want to bless me now?"). But He really just wants to have an honest conversation with me. When I ask, seek, and knock, I acknowledge that He is a sovereign entity, not some sort of supernatural vending machine.

I'm pretty interested in the outcome, but God seems more interested in the process. Maybe instead of asking and then waiting to be blessed, I should ask and then listen.

So, here we go again: God, I still want X.